Some days it's too easy to get hung up on all the things I don't have...the boyfriend/fiancee/husband that I haven't met...the kids I don't have....the salary and sense of accomplishment in a chosen career...etc. Everyone says your 20's are some of the best years. And I'm sure one day I'll look back on the opportunities and risks I've taken and cherish the memories I've made. But not everyday feels like something worth cherishing. I just feel like I'm barely getting by both fiscally and emotionally. No matter where I am, I long to be somewhere else.
I was catching up on season 7 of How I Met Your Mother and it was so eery to see so much of myself reflected in the comedy of a TV show. And for as much as it felt reflective of my life, it also reflects the dynamic of the group of friends that I was a part of in DC. A group of friends that are gearing up to go to the same bar we went to for Election night four years ago. It's hard to believe that it was that long ago. And it's hard for me to wrap my head around not being there and not being a part of that this election year.
There are many things in life that I'm thankful for, but tonight isn't feeling like a thankful night. Tonight I'm feeling a bit isolated and impatient, emotional and raw. Tomorrow the sun will rise and I will be smiling under the stress of chapters to read, research to do, papers to write and a job to work (that alone is something to be thankful for in this economy). But tonight...tonight I let a few tear drops roll.